Bride Brain [\ˈbrīd\-\ˈbrān\]:
A less invasive, but more expensive version of a frontal lobotomy. Experienced by most brides, as they enter a catatonic state which renders them incapable of sustaining any thought or conversation that does not involve cake, caterers, flowers, wedding dress designers, Chinese wedding dress knockoff designers, updo’s, hair pieces, color schemes, wedding themes, and personalized M&M’s.
Bride Brain symptoms include, but are not limited to, driving erratically because they can’t stop staring at their shiny diamond ring; being amused by the resentment of all their single girlfriends, rewinding songs several hundred times while imagining themselves walking down the aisle, and starvation induced bitchiness which is generally followed by late night binging at a Dairy Queen. (Note that this can only occur outside of the bride’s native geographic area, where they can’t possibly run into anyone they know).
Symptoms are ordinarily well controlled with valium, alcohol and endless hours of watching youtube “first dance” videos.
Yesterday, it was like a flip had been switched. I suddenly moved from a state of relative yet appropriate obsession of all wedding-related details, to an insatiable desire to answer ALL QUESTIONS IMMEDIATELY. I became acutely aware that by brain is a minefield of loose ends and logistics that cannot be quieted. I yearn for normal conversations that begin with me asking another person, “How are you?” My text messages are pushing my phone plan’s limits. I ask significantly out-of-context questions (“Speaking of game night, can you bring my bag to our wedding-night hotel that day?”). I send rambling emails to our caterer that abruptly start and end.
I’ve got bride brain.
Image via someecards
Nobody tells you that it gets like this. Wait – everybody tells you that. But you don’t know until you get there. Now, mind you, not everybody has a case of the crazies when hitting T-minus 30 days. Some never get there. Some arrive sooner, or later. I’m normally a detail-driven plan-maker, so I really should have seen this coming. I get so bent out of shape when doing dinner at a restaurant for more than 5 people. A whole freakin’ wedding? Puh-leeze. I need a valium drip.
One thing that’s helped a lot is allowing myself to abandon projects that haven’t gotten started or even gotten near halfway done. This means no bunting – in fact, no additional decoration on our deck at all. It means no out-of-town bags (sorry, out of town guests!). And, much to my chagrin, it means no vows in jars, no awesome seating signs, no alternative guestbooks, and no, no, NO additional projects that I originally didn’t plan, but which now seem so awesome to me reading about them one month before the wedding.
I told Mr. Ladyfingers not to worry, that I’d only be like this for a short while longer.
Well, until we start house hunting. And then until we have kids.
Oh, let’s face it: I’ll always have somewhat of a case of the crazies.
Have you started experiencing bridal brain? What are your tips for staying afloat while nearing the finishing line? Anybody want to come to Dairy Queen with me?